I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
