I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
