Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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