apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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