We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
