She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
