Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
