Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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