guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
