just tell him i said nine months
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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