its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
