I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
