just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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