I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize