Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
