A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
