The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
