i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
