Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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