there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
