the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
