I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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