So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I made him laugh his dick is mine
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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