You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
