if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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