Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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