Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
