You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize