I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
