As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
