How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Damn victory sex feels great
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
