Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
