that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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