What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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