She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
