mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My pussy is not your playground.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
