I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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