I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Someone signed my nipple.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
