I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
