She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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