i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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