Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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