Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
