I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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