I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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