I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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