im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish i was in the wii world.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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