I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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