i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize