in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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