I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
