i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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