i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize