fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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