I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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