I can text with my tongue
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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