Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
