Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
