You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
