so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
