Is it because I queefed?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
