I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize