somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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