Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
