I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize