i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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