All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
