You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Come on in and take your pants off
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