so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
