Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
